Give Jimmy His Spice Rag

(Sung to the tune of Sing a Song of Sixpence)



(Verse 1)

He wanders through the dark night,

Looking to and fro.

Forgetting where he placed it,

Not too long ago.

When he finally finds it,

He shoves it in his face,

And sets about to dancing,

All over the place!



(Chorus)

Oh, give Jimmy his spice rag,

He really needs it now,

He’ll do anything for it,

He would even kiss a sow.

Please give Jimmy his spice rag,

It will make him truly glad,

If you give Jimmy his spice rag,

He will be a jolly lad.



(Verse 2)

Women, wine, and Vudka,

Do not a thing for Jimmy,

Only his handy spice rag,

Can make him do the shimmy.

If you offered him a Mark,

To put his spice rag down,

He would laugh in your face,

And dance on through the town!



(Chorus)



(Verse 3)

When in the port at Corelloth,

Don’t be led astray,

A gang of Prohibitioners,

could take your rag away.

But Jimmy was too clever,

He was ready for the task,

He tied it around his head,

And wore it as a mask!



(Chorus)



(In my storyline, Give Jimmy His Spice Rag is one of many songs crewmen would sing and dance to on long voyages between planets. There are many other verses that could be added to the song and it is best sung while somewhat inebriated. There are likely many ways one can enjoy spice, but the most portable one is to soak a cloth for a few days in a heavily spiced broth and sniff the vapors from it as you walk around the port. Of course a Captain would never allow spice rags on a ship, so they’re usually confiscated before a crewman can board again.)



(In real life, ever since I typed Give Jimmy His Spice Rag I was vexed with the idea of what would it sound like. So I’m inflicting it on you guys. Sorry. What was supposed to be just one story regarding what happened to one of my captains has mutated into a monster.)